


It’s scary, but I have you to help me through it

by Wesblorb



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Canon Lesbian Relationship, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Nightmares, Post-Season/Series 05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:27:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25160851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wesblorb/pseuds/Wesblorb
Summary: Catra isn’t sure what to do when Adora wakes up from their first night together terrified from a nightmare, both had been ready to put the past behind them but it seems there may still be some feelings that need to be talked out.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 238





	1. What’s wrong?

The first night she spent in Bright Moon was the best sleep Catra had ever had. No mattresses that were as hard as steel, no loud humming and clanking of mechanical parts, and no barracks full of people she couldn’t care less about. In their place however, lied the one person she cared about most in the world sleeping beside her...for the first time in far too long.

That was, until Adora had woken up, waking Catra along with her. It started with a scream and Adora shooting up from her sleep, followed by her clenching her chest while sweating and hyperventilating.

“What?! What’s happening?! Are you ok should I get someone?! Wait here I’ll be right bac-” was all Catra managed to say before Adora had placed a hand on her shoulder.

She hadn’t stopped hyperventilating nor was she in a position to talk, but she needed to reassure Catra that she was alright. Catra was still dazed from her sudden awakening and was looking around the room trying to make sense of what was going on before fixating her gaze on her frazzled girlfriend. Only around 30 seconds had passed and neither of them had moved, but the tension was building inside Catra.

_What’s going on? What’s making her act like this? Why doesn’t she want me to get help? Is she in pain? Please just be ok!_

“I-I’m fine Catra. I just had a nightmare.” She said, finally regaining her ability to speak.

“A...nightmare? Y-you’ve never had nightmares like that, not even when we were kids.” Catra had just managed to squeak out in her relieved but somehow still incredibly anxious and confused state. 

“Yeah, I know but-“ She continued, breathing heavily “-I guess I grew into them?”

Lightening the mood had never been a perfected talent Adora possessed, and it would’ve made Catra feel less worried that at least she was trying if it wasn’t coming from someone who’s first instinct when it came to her own mental health was to deflect. 

“I’ll be fine, just a little shaken up. I just need to-“ Adora spoke before trailing off and moving closer to Catra “-I think I just need you to hold me for a bit.”

Catra wasn’t sure how to handle the position she was in. Adora had always been the one consoling Catra about her own nightmares, the idea of Adora getting them felt almost alien to her. While she occasionally had bad dreams, she’d seem to instantly recover the moment she realized they weren’t real. It was nothing like the reaction she was currently having.

_Was I like this when I had my first nightmare? Jeez, how long ago would that have been anyway?_

Catra definitely had somewhat recent nights of waking up kicking and screaming in a cold sweat, but this was different. Adora was all but completely PARALYZED by whatever twisted vision she had just seen.

_What DID she see?_

Adora had moved so that her back was against Catra’s chest and Catra’s arms were wrapped around her waist, hugging her slightly. “Do you...wanna talk about it?” Catra asked hesitantly.

“I-um, ok.” Adora’s breathing had returned to normal, much to her girlfriend’s contentment. However, her voice was still ever so slightly shakey. “It was when we were back at the heart, when the fail safe was activating...when you told me you loved me.”

Catras cheeks gained a slight blush. That moment would be remembered to her as perhaps the most bittersweet experience of her entire life. It was when her and the love of her life confessed their feelings, kissed for the first time, and saved the world together. It had also been the most sure Catra was that ‘this will be the time she really won’t make it back’.

“Everything was the same, I had the exact same vision of us, Bow, and Glimmer in the future, of Horde Prime taunting me, and of you calling out to me. But when I went to grab your hand...I was too far. The fail safe finished activating and I wasn’t She-Ra, I wasn’t strong enough. I couldn’t say anything, I just laid there dying and I never got to tell you how I felt.”

That description hit Catra almost hard enough to knock her off the bed. Mostly because at the time, that’s exactly what she thought would happen. She didn’t expect Adora to wake up, and why would she? She used to have the exact same type of thoughts constantly.

**_“I hurt people. I can’t help anyone, especially not Adora. All I’ll ever do is get in her way.”_ **

With that being the case, it made perfect sense in her mind that joining Adora would be the thing that ultimately got her killed.

She didn’t think Adora was coming back, but she still tried reaching out to her and she was so glad she did. As nice as it was to admit her feelings and let Adora return them, she had been ready to put that memory behind them, at least for the time being. 

“Adora it’s...it’s fine. I mean yeah, the whole situation kinda sucked but it’s better now at least.”

Adora managed a smile as she turned around to meet her girlfriend’s eyes. “Thank you.” She said.

“Can I-“ She paused to take a deep breath “-can I tell you something personal, something I haven’t told anyone else yet?” She asked.

“I’m your girlfriend, doing stuff with me that you can’t with anyone else is like the whole point.”

“I...kind of accepted I was gonna die there, partly because-“ This had already been one of the scariest sentences Catra had ever heard, and it wasn’t even over yet “-well, I didn’t really know if I had a purpose after all this was done.”

Catra looked at her shocked.

_What does that even mean_?

Adora took Catra’s dumbfounded look as a reason to explain further.

“All my life, I felt like when people looked at me they were seeing someone else. When we’d both break rules or run around together in the Fright Zone, but you’d be the only one that got in trouble. Whenever Shadow Weaver was talking about how I was ‘meant for great things’. I’d always look at those moments and think ‘why am I so special? what makes me better than anyone else?’ I hated it. So when I got the sword it all made sense to me. She-Ra. That must’ve been what everyone at the Horde saw in me. Someone strong and capable of making a real impact on the war. It was kind of nice for things to finally make sense but I didn’t exactly take it, well, healthily. Before I knew it, being She-Ra felt like the only thing I was good for. But it also felt like I was just disguising myself. If I couldn’t do what I was destined to do as She-Ra then people would see that behind the strength I was just borrowing, I was nothing. I tried to meet every single expectation cause the second I failed they’d see it was because they’d put their hopes in someone I was only trying to be. And after that it’d all come crashing down.”

As much as their relationship and understanding of each other had improved since they had joined to defeat Horde Prime, this made Catra realize how much her old thoughts still plagued her. It was definitely more passive the before but she still in some subconscious part of her mind, saw Adora as the perfect wonder child, capable of no wrong other than ‘caring too much’ or ‘trying to hard’. The good thing about no one having put their expectations in her was it made Catra be able to not care about almost anything. She thought Adora must’ve felt the same way, after all why worry if people were going to praise her regardless? But the why she described it, Adora must’ve been horrified at the Fright Zone. Catra felt almost humiliated about not considering how Adora must’ve been traumatized growing up in the Horde the same as her. She’d been in Bright Moon for a day and she already knew that if Adora felt she had to walk on eggshells around THESE PEOPLE, she didn’t have to be punished in the Horde for it to be a living hell.

“Please tell me you know that was all dumb and we love you cause you’re a sweet dork right?” Catra responded.

“Hm? Who’s we? You’re the only one that’s dramatically declared their love to me you know?”

Catra usually hated water but she’d do anything for someone to douse her with a hose to cool down her now burning hot face. “You know what I meant! I just wanna make sure you know that you matter and stuff.”

“Yeah, I know. It was hard to talk about but Glimmer and Bow really helped me appreciate myself more. But even though it was easier to be comfortable with myself, it still felt like the ‘point’ of me being here was to be She-Ra. I mean I had a LITERAL destiny, I never really got the chance to think about my plans for the future.” 

Catra has been worried about that aspect of her girlfriend before she even found the sword, but the more she watched her entrench herself into her role as She-Ra, the more it frightened her. As soon as they were on the same side, she really wanted to cram it down Adora’s throat that she deserved to be happy too.

_And if that means being happy with me that’s fine too_.

“So when I was at the heart, I kinda started thinking that even if I did...die, the magic would still return to Etheria, Entrapta would be able to disrupt Prime’s mind control, and there wouldn’t really be a need for She-Ra anymor-“

This was by no means a happy memory to reminisce, but Adora couldn’t help but stifle a giggle anyway at her girlfriend’s extreme pouty face. She felt like she was about to be scolded for not respecting herself enough.

There was an overwhelming primal feline urge to simply hiss at Adora for not listening when she told her to think about what she actually wanted in life, but Catra knew she had to get this next part out first. “I’ve known you almost my entire life, none of the stuff that made me want to be with you so badly came from your ‘potential’ or your magic sword powers. If anything I was scared of She-Ra at first, not because we were enemies then, but because I knew you, and I knew what you’d do to yourself once you had that type of responsibility. The one good thing about that sword is that it’s probably saved you from being killed more times than I can count. I love you. I love YOU. Adora. That part wasn’t destiny, it was your insistence on being nice to the little punk everyone else gave up on and your stubbornness whenever anyone told you that was a bad idea.” There was no blush or anything on Catra’s face anymore, these were her unfiltered thoughts, she couldn’t afford to let anything go unsaid.

“You’re great on your own, and I’m sure the only reason you got that sword was cause the universe realized you’d be the most kind and overqualified person for the job. Your other friends probably all think the same thing. I mean I obviously love you a lot more than they do but that’s not the point.”

That last part was suppose to try and lighten things up before they got all sappy but it was too late. Adora was looking at Catra with a warm smile on her face and tears in her eyes.

_Great, we’re doing this no_ w.

Catra knew what Adora tears meant. They meant she too would start crying. Not now, perhaps not even soon, but it was gonna happen.

She had little time to reflect on her impending emotional doom as Adora had pulled her in for a heartfelt hug. 

“Thanks for that,“ Adora had started whilst still trying to comprehend how suddenly sweet Catra was capable of being while still being incredibly honest and forward “and for looking out for me this whole time. I’m-” Adora took a deep once again “-I’m not always as strong as people think I am, or as much as I want to be.” It pained Adora to admit that, more-so to herself than to Catra. She doubted she could have said that to anyone else as easily, but as she’d simultaneously ‘recently come to realize’ and ‘known for a long time’—Catra was special.

Adora wanted to say this next part face to face but she couldn’t help slightly looking down and Catra wasn’t going to force her to do something she wasn’t comfortable with.

“We promised to look out for each other, but I think I have a problem asking for help. I’m learning but...just be patient with me, please.” Adora was gripping her girlfriend’s shirt almost like a scared child. She knew everything was going to be ok, but it was still new territory, and it was ok for that to be scary.

She felt Catra hug her tightly before she started talking, “We both kinda suck at that, but that’s ok. We’ll get better.”

Adora smiled knowing that after so long, they could finally be on the same page.

“Yeah”

Both felt as though they learned a lot about each other that night, things which should perhaps wait to be thought upon until it wasn’t the dead of night. The two held onto each other until they slowly fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my first fanfic so I hope you liked it, feel free to tell me what you thought. The rest is finished already so I should be posting it soon.


	2. What’s wrong with me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra wakes up and joins Glimmer for breakfast, where she learns something that forces her to an uncomfortable realization

Catra awoke the next morning to the sound of quiet snoring and a face full of long blond hair. Adora was completely sprawled out on her back with her arm over Catra’s torso and her unkempt hair blinding the still sleepy feline.

_Jeez, when did Adora become such a messy sleeper? Although I guess I’ve never actually slept NEXT to her like this before..._

She cleared her way through a blond forest before being greeted by Adora’s sleeping face. She loved that she got to look at that face. Adora was constantly giving herself some new reason to work herself to death, even in the fright zone. It didn’t take much to realize becoming a magic space warrior princess had only exacerbated the problem, so it was nice for Catra to look at her face when it wasn’t encumbered by whatever the universe or Adora herself decided was in need of her attention at that moment. Catra couldn’t help but crack a light smile, knowing that part of the reason Adora was able to sleep so soundly was the part she played in helping the warrior overcome her newfound night terrors.

She would love to stay with her at that moment, but the growling in her stomach unfortunately forced her to start her day earlier than she would have preferred. 

As she was getting up to get something to eat, she heard Adora start to stir up from her sleep, causing Catra to turn around and be met with the girl’s half-open eyelids.

“Mmmmmmm Catra? Where are you-“ She groggily mumbled.

“I’m just going to get something to eat, go back to sleep I’ll be back in a bit.” She told her sleepy girlfriend, causing her to groan and immediately fall back to sleep.

As she was walking towards the kitchen, she noticed a certain sparkly queen walking through the hallway.

She had her chin in her hand while deeply in thought about something, something which hopefully wasn’t important as it visibly completely left her mind as she noticed her new friend coming her way.

“Oh, Catra!” Glimmer exclaimed happily.

Catra was kind of glad that Glimmer was the first person besides Adora she ran into that day. Referring to Adora’s friends, who she once stayed up at night cursing for the emptiness and jealousy they brought her as her own friends now was still something she was, to say the least, having a hard time getting used to. Even then, a lot of them still just felt like Adora’s friends who were giving her the benefit of the doubt more-so than her own friends. At least with Glimmer, she had more of a chance to talk with her alone and form some type of relationship with her on Horde Prime’s ship. 

“Morning Sparkles.” She replied back.

Before she knew it, Glimmer had teleported in front of her with a wide smile lighting her face.

“Sooooo how was your first night?” Glimmer asked excitedly.

“Are you asking as my host, my concerned friend, or just trying to make conversation?” Catra responded back.

_I think I’m doing alright with this whole friendly conversation thing so far._

“All of the above, but if I had to choose, I’d say as someone who wants to know how things went between you and Adora.”

“Wha?! What are you-“ Catra had grossly overestimated her ability to small talk.

“Oh come on! You confess your love to my best friend, literally save the universe together, then decide to share a room with ONE bed and I’m not supposed to ask some questions?” Glimmer leaned in while she was talking, she wanted answers and she was going to get them.

“Alright fine, it was...nice. Sleeping without her in the Fright Zone just kinda made the night always feel cold. It’s nice to have her back.” Catra could feel the blush on her face and was fully aware that she was timidly rubbing her arm, but she didn’t care. Now that she had Adora, nothing anyone else mattered. Besides, it was just Glimmer. Despite having a rocky start it was still clear to Catra that Glimmer was on her side now. “I love her but it’s still weird to be with her like—like THIS, after wanting it for so long.” 

A monumental grin spread across Glimmer’s face. She was planning to tease Catra more but it felt wrong to mock her after something so wholesome. 

“I’m happy for you.” Catra could tell she meant it. It was weird to think about but she could tell Glimmer wanted her to be happy, and not just cause it meant Adora would be happy too.

“I was just on my way to get breakfast, you should join me!” Glimmer proposed.

Being excited for breakfast was something Catra would’ve been genuinely baffled by in the past, but after leaving the Horde and getting a taste of well...actual FOOD, it made total sense to her.

The two had sat down and started eating together in the royal hall. It wasn’t as bad as when she was in the Fright Zone, but Catra was willing to admit she was still a grumpy person in the morning, and getting some food helped a lot.

Peaceful as it may have been, Glimmer decided too much silence had past and that she would be the one to initiate the conversation back up.

“Did I ever get the chance to tell you how oblivious Adora was about her feelings for you?”

Choking

Catra was now choking.

Glimmer wanted to keep it in but she couldn’t help but laugh.

“What the heck, are you TRYING to kill me!?” Catra yelled through the waffles currently stuck in her throat.

“No, but I mean it’s not like you never tried to kill me before, so I say we’re even. Now, do you want to hear about Adora being clueless or not?”

“...fine. _”_

_Who knows when I’ll get the opportunity again._

Glimmer stood up and propped her hands on the table; she was in storytelling mode. “It was a couple of days before we left for the Crimson Waste and Adora was looking all gloomy and longing into the morning sky.” Glimmer recounted the event while doing her best exaggerated sad Adora faces. Glimmer had clearly practiced them before and had easily earned a couple laughs from Catra.

“I asked her what was wrong and she told me about how even though things weren’t great in the Fright Zone, she still felt like it was hard to let go of. And even if she knew they were ‘evil’ there were things she missed there, and yes, she mentioned you by name.”

Catra could feel herself blush once again, but like before, she didn’t try to hide it.

“I only knew you as an enemy so I had to ask her why you were still so important to her. It made no sense to me but as soon as she started to explain it, I began to realize what was going on, even if Adora didn’t. She said everything else at the Horde just felt like it was nagging at her and trying to drag her back. Like they were invisible hands or something that felt like they were pulling on her, but among all of them your hand felt real and that even if she knew it was dangerous she wanted to turn around and grab it so she could pull you through, even if it meant you might pull harder and stop her from doing what she needed to go forward.”

_Wow. Where is this going?_

“She didn’t talk too much about stuff from the Horde, so I felt all sad and stuff only to realize she just constructed an entire metaphor which basically amounted to her saying she wanted to hold your hand.”

Catra immediately snorted a laugh out and Glimmer joined her.

“I mean it figures that even when she’s speaking clearly, she’s still being an idiot.” Catra playfully jabbed at the love of her life.

“Ha, says Ms. ‘whispering about whatever’ hmm?” Glimmer retorted right back.

“Hey-shut up!” Glimmer was laughing as Catra was pouting, but before too long Catra joined her again.

She still felt slightly awkward around Glimmer given all that has happened, but she was able to call her a friend regardless.

“I’m still a bit curious what ‘whatever’ means. But you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Glimmer slyly looked away from Catra “I’ll just ask Adora.”

“Hmmph” Catra growled, before remembering something. “Just...give her time to wake up first.”

Glimmer hadn’t known Catra long, but it was still easy to notice little lilts in her voice when something was bothering her.

“Why? Did something happen?” She asked carefully while trying not to show any unease in her voice. She didn’t want to make Catra uncomfortable or make it seem like she was prying.

“No it’s fine, it’s just...she didn’t sleep well.” Catra didn’t want to say more. It was Adora’s problem after all, it wouldn’t be right to divulge it.

“Oh no, was she having nightmares again?”

If Glimmers worry hadn’t been focused on Adora at that very moment, she would’ve noticed the both shock and shame in Catra’s face. “A-again?”

_Nightmares...again_

These words stung Catra in a way she wasn’t familiar with. She felt regret before, and she had felt guilt before, this was similar but not quite the same. She felt stupid at her wishful thinking that somehow the events of last night were the first time Adora had experienced that type of terror. At the same time, how could she not think so? She had never had them in the Fright Zone. Plus, there was that scared look on her face immediately after waking up, it seemed like the childlike reaction of being horrified by something new. The naïvety was bad enough but the part that felt so strange to her was her next realization. 

_Glimmer knew about it, Adora must’ve told her. Was it just her? Does Bow know too? Am I the only one who didn’t?_

“Yeah she was really freaked out at first and I teleported into her room cause I heard the screaming and thought someone snuck into the castle or something. It took a while to calm her down, but eventually I was able to talk her through it.”

“Oh, I-“ Catra looked down ashamedly “-I guess it was a good thing you were there.”

There were a couple of small signs before, but it was clear now that Catra wasn’t feeling alright at all. “Hey come on, I’m sorry if I made things weird, but she has you now. That’s what’s important.“

Catra realized what that feeling was.

Before she realized Adora was the love of her life, the two were still best friends, best friends who had made a promise to be there for each other. Catra could only imagine how terrified Adora must’ve been when she had her REAL first run-in with nightmares, and the thought that people who were mere strangers to her at the time were providing support to her best friend in her place made her feel like...a failure.

_Is this what it feels like...to be responsible for something important, and fail? To actually care about screwing up a job you had?_

Catra was able to protect herself and her emotions for a long time by always seeing herself as a victim of an unfair world, but whether the world was unfair didn’t matter at that moment. She made a promise, she had a job to do, it was supposed to be HER job to protect Adora from-

A terrible realization hit her right at that moment.

_What was causing her nightmares before Prime?_

“Hey.”

Catra felt a hand on her shoulder that made her jump slightly, at some point Glimmer had gotten up and was currently standing right next to her.

“What’s wrong, you seem really upset?” Glimmer asked, clearly concerned. Catra knew Glimmer long enough to not want her to worry her, but that didn’t necessarily make things easy.

“I’m sorry, it’s just...I don’t want to talk with you about this right now.”

And she didn’t. She trusted Glimmer, but this was just something she couldn’t talk about with her.

“That’s fine, but will you at least talk to Adora about it.” Glimmer had said lightly smiling down at her.

Catra had fully expected to be bombarded with loving intrusive support which would somehow make her feel worse, the reality of what happened was the last thing she would’ve expected.

“I don’t want to pry but, that look you had earlier, I’ve seen it before. It’s the ‘I’m gonna keep this to myself and fester over it until it messes me up’ look.”

Catra looked at her to challenge her, but she couldn’t even get her mouth open before realizing it was true.

“I haven’t known either of you as long as you’ve known each other, but I know how much happier you two are together compared to when you were apart. I just don’t want drama from the past to ruin that.”

Catra could feel it coming up, but Glimmer was right.

_Here’s not the place for this._

She quickly nodded to show she understood then got up and ran to her and Adora’s room. She ran quickly and carefully with her face down, she couldn’t risk bumping into anybody in the state she was in. 

The palace’s long hallways seemed to stretch on for miles with each room she passed looking the same, if only because she knew they weren’t the room she was looking for. After what felt like an hour but could’ve only been less around a minute, she made it to her and Adora’s room. She saw Adora standing with her back to the door stretching like she just got out of bed.

Catra could feel it coming, and without hesitation she ran into Adora, pressing her face against her back and wrapping her arms around her torso, earning a whelp from her surprised girlfriend.

“WHA?! What’s-“ Was all she could get out before looking down and noticing whose hands were wrapped around her. Her surprise instantly melted into concern.

“Hey, are you-“

*sob*

And there it was. Tears. Crying in front of Glimmer would’ve made her want to die on the spot. It would’ve been much worse if she happened to run into anyone else on her way. Adora though, Adora just made her feel safe. If she needed to cry or get something off her chest or completely break down in front of Adora she knew she could. She wasn’t as far as breaking down at the moment, but she had a lot she needed to get out.

“I’m sorry.” She spoke shakily.

“Catra.”

“I know I’ve said it and I keep saying it but...I keep hurting you and I hate it! I just...I’m so sorry.” 

“Hey,” Adora turned to look at Catra “you’re not hurting me, we’re over that now.”

Catra was currently crying into her girlfriend's stomach with her arms still wrapped around her. She was breathing heavily, on the verge of being erratic.

“Your nightmares, when did they start?” She knew she wasn’t going to like the answer. She knew exactly what she was going to hear. She still needed to hear it.

“It was a couple of days after I left the Horde.” Adora could feel Catra grasp the back of her shirt harder after she had said that. Adora grabbed her gently and leaned back to sit down, bringing them both to the floor.

“If it’s about the nightmares don’t worry, it’s fine.“

“It’s not fine!” Catra screamed into Adora’s shirt. “It’s not fine. You never had them before, but I had to ruin that. I can’t believe I was dumb enough to think last night was the first time! I just...I thought I was helping. I thought maybe this time I could fix something and be there for you when YOU needed ME. But of course, I was the one that caused that too! URGGGH I’m such an idiot! I-“ She was abruptly cut off by an extremely tight squeeze from Adora, causing her to calm down slightly.

Adora lifted Catra’s face up to her own before starting to speak. “I don’t want you talking about yourself like that.” Flashes of their childhood drifted through Adora’s mind. Of the whispers from cadets who Catra struggled to make friends with, the berating from Shadow Weaver, the way Catra would put herself down when it started to get to her. “I’m not gonna let anyone talk about you like that anymore.”

The two sat in an awkward but comfortable silence for a while before Catra felt she had to speak up, but she couldn’t figure out what to say.

_Your nightmares were about me, right?_

_Of course they were, why even ask that?_

_Why didn’t you give up on me?_

_It was Adora, of course she wouldn’t._

Eventually, she settled on a question she had asked herself repeatedly but never found an answer too.

“Why didn’t I just go with you when you asked me too?”

Adora needed a second, or several seconds, or perhaps just an easier question.

“I don’t know, I think you were scared, or maybe it was just easier to think things were going wrong then that you had a way out, or maybe you were just hurt cause I left or cause you thought I didn’t care about you or us but-” Adora needed to stop, she could feel herself rambling and talking herself in circles again. She was getting frustrated at herself trying to figure it out like she had in the past. Catra was looking up at her, disheartened at the way her brow contorted from focusing so hard on figuring out an answer.

“I don’t know. When you didn’t come with me I thought about it for-“ She looked away sheepishly “-for a really long time. I kept thinking about what I could’ve done differently. If I could’ve said something better or maybe come back with you and slowly tried to convince you to leave with me, anything but just leaving without you.”

Back then, Catra was fueled with a whirlwind of emotions at Adora for having left her. Over time though, the one which grew steadily and which she tried to avoid was guilt. Guilt at not trying harder to bring her back, guilt at not going with her, guilt at fighting against her, and currently the guilt of at once thinking only she was hurt by their separation.

Adora looked down at Catra with something clearly on her mind. “Can I ask you something now?” 

Catra had already moved her head to look back down again, but she still nodded a yes.

“When-” The sudden red across her cheeks made Adora very happy Catra wasn’t looking at her face at that moment “-when did you realize you loved me?”

Catra’s ears perked up at the sudden question, she very slightly pulled back from Adora before beginning to speak.

“I don’t know, I think It really started right when I met you. It probably wasn’t till a while later that I fully realized it, a couple of months maybe?” Catra hadn’t thought much about when it started, loving her has just been normal for the longest time. Thinking about it had raised a question for her though.

_When did Adora fall in love with me?_

Catra had been so sure for the longest time that her feelings were unrequited, but now that the two were a couple, she could finally talk about her love. It had taken hold in her mind, she had to return the question.

“What about you?” 

Adora gulped. She and Catra were starting to get deeper into a lot of hard emotions and memories. It was okay though, they were talking. They were getting through them. They were together. They could do this.

“I think I started loving you really early on also, but...I really didn’t think you liked me back, so I kinda bottled it up and kept it away from me. It felt like just by being around me I’d always get you into trouble, I was really worried that-” Adora stopped, she was trembling. As nice as it was that they were talking again, the amount of time they spent apart still made certain things hard to discuss.

Catra could sense Adora was struggling, she looked like she was trying to prevent herself from crying. It was time to be there for her.

“Hey,” She called, wrapping her tail around Adora's legs and cupping her face and bringing it to her own so they could meet eyes “whatever you thought then, we’re together now. I’m your girlfriend and you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried, but you can still take your time if you need to.” She said before kissing her girlfriend on the forehead.

Adora smiled, she sniffled but she wasn’t quite crying. She took a deep breath and once again began talking.

“I was worried you wouldn’t want to be around me. When you didn’t come with me, I thought it was just the point where you didn’t want to risk anything else because of me.”

The nagging feeling of “ ** _she doesn’t want me_** _”_ , the fear and acceptance that their love couldn’t happen, and the depression from being torn apart. Catra was so sure she was the only one who was suffering from those emotions, and once she and Adora confessed their love, she HOPED only she had suffered from them. But their everyday lives were entwined now, she was seeing the wounds she left and how they affected the one she cared about most.

“I’m sorry,” She repeated again. “I should’ve talked to you.”

“It’s not your fault, I wanna believe it’s not either of our fault’s.” It was hard to accept at first, but Adora had realized that if it wasn’t fair for Catra to blame everything on herself, then she shouldn’t either.

“I know you feel bad about what you did and the way things went down, but I’ll always forgive you.” Adora said.

“Even if you have nightmares about me being the worst?” She knew Adora still would, she just had to check.

“Of course, and that’s not really what they were about.” 

Catra was genuinely surprised by that response “They weren’t?”

Adora couldn’t help but giggle at her girlfriend's response and the shock she showed on her face. “What, did you think I was scared of you or something?” She teased.

Catra was relieved, but almost more-so surprised “N-no. I just, I mean what else would they be about.”

Adora leaned back further to look up at the ceiling and Catra joined her. leading to them both lying down in an almost cuddling position on the floor. “Well, I never really thought we’d get here. I mean I knew I had to TRY, but I really didn’t see an outcome where we won the war and I got to be with you. So my nightmares were mostly that, me not being able to save you.”

“Oh...most of my nightmares were about stuff from the past, like when you left or everything I did after that. I just didn’t think that’s what was on your mind.”

Adora let out a deep sigh and rolled sideways so she was looking into Catra’s eyes “I think I just have too much on my mind when it comes to what I have to do for the future. Like, all the time.”

“Uh duh, I’m the last person that’d be news too y’know?”

The two couldn’t help but smile looking at each other's faces. The past was gone. It still existed of course, but it didn’t feel as though it was constantly hanging around, especially with the future looking much brighter than it once had. Their eyes locked and their fingers entwined as the feeling of shared comfort took hold of them both.

“Hey, we’re ok right?” Catra had to ask before they could continue on with their day, having almost forgotten it was still morning what with so much having happened already.

“Yeah. I mean, we went through a lot, but we’re here now. Even if it still hurts sometimes...well, we don’t have to talk about it all right now.” Adora responded.

Catra’s face brightened up when she heard that “Yeah, yeah I guess you’re right. Now that you’re not getting rid of me we’ve got all the time in the world.”

Adora let out a soft chuckle before standing up and lifting Catra to her feet, then pulling her in for a kiss.

“I love you.”

There was truly nothing like the warmth that those words brought Catra every time she heard them, they let her know so much.She was never just some friend who Adora kept around out of bad judgment. No, she was LOVED. Adora LOVED her. She felt something for her that she didn’t feel with anyone else. And best of all, that meant it was ok to feel the same way.

Catra learned her head against Adora’s chest before letting out a light purr. “I love you too.”

The two shared a passionate hug and only separated so Adora could continue getting dressed for the day. Catra decided it was best to go on ahead of her and maybe let Glimmer know she worked everything out. She would’ve loved to stay for a bit longer, but they had all the time in the world to be together, so it wasn’t as if they would be apart for long. So much had happened both independently and between the two of them in the time it took for them to finally be able to express their love for each other. Their new life; it was exciting, calm, happy, and the slightest bit scary. Most of all however, there was one prevailing thought which would always be at the center of each girl’s mind and which they could always return to once the clouds cleared.

**_I love her so much_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said it’d be out soon but I had a lot come up. The last chapter is a quick epilogue which hopefully should actually be out soon


	3. I guess things are ok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra wakes up...what, does it always have to be more complicated then that?

Catra awoke the next day. Once again, Adora was by her side, but less manically spread out this time. Both had slept soundly the night before, their take-two on a happy sleepy night together as a couple was a resounding success. Catra couldn’t help but smile at the prospect that every night and morning could be like that from then on.

“Catra...”

The sound of her name caused her to roll over and look to her girlfriend, only to find her completely asleep.

_Is, is she dreaming about me?_

Adora had talked in her sleep from time to time when they were kids, but it was usually just nonsense. She figured she would’ve grown out of it by that point, but Catra did feel nice having it be about her, especially considering how peacefully she was sleeping.

Catra on the other hand was growing further from peaceful as her mind began thinking of how to address the situation. 

_I don’t want to bother her, but she’s just so cute and helpless when she’s sleeping. Would it be alright if I kissed her like this? Of course it would. She’s MY girlfriend after all._

Her logic was sound enough, but her hand was trembling as it reached to grab Adora’s face. As if on cue, blond hair started to rustle and the sleepy face behind it groaned and shifted awake.

Catra pulled back startled and moved her hands to cover her mouth to prevent herself from squeaking. Adora would’ve certainly teased her for it if she hadn’t been too busy rubbing the sleep from her eyes to notice.

“Good morning.” She said barely awake.

“Y-yeah, morning.” Catra replied.

As Adora was trying to wake herself up by stretching _,_ Catra still felt the need to stare at her restful face (that is, when she wasn’t sneaking glances at her stretching her arms, which had gotten noticeably buffer since they were in the Fright Zone). She seemed completely at ease, like she was finally taking the time to enjoy the peaceful world she fought so hard to bring about.

“How’d you sleep?” Catra asked.

*stretch* “Pretty good, I-uh,” Adora briefly paused to make eye contact “I dreamed about you.” 

“Oh? Was it a bad or a good dream?” Catra asked half-joking.

“Good,” She said before sitting up to give Catra a quick kiss. “Most of my good dreams basically look like what a normal day is for me now, the only difference is I’d feel bad about making my real life girlfriend wait too long for me to get up.”

Her cheesy line brought a quick giggle to her girlfriend “Ok dork.” She said, doing a poor job of hiding that it did indeed make her happy.

“Anyway,” She continued “how’re you feeling?” 

Adora was visibly confused by the question “Um, good I guess, why?” It wasn’t anything all that important, Catra just had to check. She just had to quickly make sure that those types of mornings were ones the two of them got to have, mornings cuddled up together softly after a quiet night of sweet dreams. Much to her delight, It was indeed real. 

“Ah its nothing, you’re still so new to this whole ‘not putting literally everything before yourself thing’ so I thought I should still check on you from time to time, just in case.” Catra was mostly covering up how she really felt but at the same time, there was some truth to her words. 

“Aw,” Adora leaned in to kiss her once again “you’re cute.” Catra still wasn’t used to Adora complimenting her, at least in an openly romantic way. Even though they were just simple things couples could tell each other a hundred times a day, it still felt so special. “So, do you want to do anything today?” Adora asked,

“I don’t know do you.”

“Uggggh, no,” Adora groaned, making them both laugh.

“I guess there really isn’t anything we HAVE to do anymore is there?” Catra asked only just realizing what it meant.

Adora smiled and shook her head. She knew how much they both needed a chance to unwind.

“It’s nice cause I slept well last night but also I feel like I haven’t slept in like...3 years.”

“Even if you’re getting sleep, you should still relax when you’re awake sometimes. You know that, right? Who am I kidding, of course you don’t.” Catra teased, all the while being 100% serious.

“Go back to bed with me anyway?” Adora said with a half-joking, half-pleading look in her eyes. A look that made Catra purr both softly and much louder than she realized. In hindsight, sleeping in Adora’s bed had always been a form of comfort to Catra. It was when she could be closest to her in the Horde and finally let her mind rest, before morning came and the world would throw something between them again. But things weren’t like how they were in the Horde. It wasn’t just Adora’s bed anymore, and there was no force to tear them apart once morning came. They could both lie there blissfully and enjoy each other’s company as long as they pleased.

“You’re such an idiot.” She responded to Adora’s request, already getting back underneath the covers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess this makes my first finished fan fiction. I’ve got a couple ideas in the works (including more Catradora) which may or may not ever be finished. Thanks for reading and I hope you all enjoyed!


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